Unwanted Suicide

When fathers stands there screaming at me,
Making me feel like worthless shit,
I beg for him to leave me be,
But he just comes closer

He holds a beer in his hand,
Using his build to frighten me,
I can't let him know it works,
I fight back...

I've been afraid of him even as a little kid,
He's why I can't be happy,
I try to ignore it and keep smiling,
Bur it won't save me forever,

I have scars on my arms,
And a small puncture on my chest,
If only I had another way to express,
Nothing works...

And in my hand I hold a knife,
Just wanting his screaming to stop,
So me and my twin can be happy,
So no more tears will be shed,

But I don't want to die,
I want to fall in love and have kids,
I want to go to bars at night,
I want to experience sex,

But when I'm in this much pain,
I tend to make big mistakes,
How much more pain must I take?
As I contemplate my unwanted suicide...